Pregnancy for beginners

***As most - if not all - of you already know, our son Caleb was born on Thursday a week ahead of schedule. A future post will soon be in the works about this blessed day, but I'm keeping my pre-determined blog schedule with this post.*****

As our little family enjoys our first Mother's Day with child in tow, it's time to look back at the memories that led up to Caleb's birth.

THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

Any time Katie wasn't feeling well and dealing with female "stuff," she would jokingly toss out the possible of pregnancy. And I took it as a joke. Until I noticed a white stick sitting in the garbage.

So after a few days in a row of hearing about female stuff, I had a pretty good idea what was coming the morning she pulled me out of bed and dragged me into the bathroom.

The news was in.  The fun had begun. And by fun, I mean yakking. And by yakking, I mean complaining ….. err….. nausea. 

THE NAUSEA.

Every pregnancy is different. Every woman has unique issues and handles them in her own way. But if there was one challenge to characterize Katie's pregnancy, I would say it was a nauseating one.

Once it became clear this nasty nausea was here to stay, we looked for distractions rather than solutions.  In worst-to-first order of effectiveness, the winners were ….

Criminal Minds.  Hotch and the rest of the FBI's Behavior Analysis Unit provided a new TV series to us with re-runs airing on at least 4 different channels. But over time it produced a new distraction for Katie: fear. Fear of abduction, fear of psychopaths, fear of the world we were bringing this child into. Not a healthy thought process for a mommy in training. 

So we became good friends with the library and got our book on. Katie got a few recommendations and read about a dozen books including these in anticipation for their movies (the only two we've seen in theaters for the past nine months).

They were a good way to focus her energy elsewhere, and at times they put her mind at ease so she could sleep.  The problem with these was longevity. Little Mrs. Preggers cruises through a book like her husband cruises through a half gallon of chocolate milk.

Turned out, the best way to sidestep the uneasy queasies was puzzles.

And more puzzles.

And more puzzles. I knew we were on to something when I came home from work one day to find the previous puzzle gone and a new one completed in its entirety. That meant Katie had spent about 4 hours that day at work and 4 hours knocking out “Washington DC”. This will certainly become one of those stories I tell my son about his mom's pregnancy.

After the first half dozen puzzles, you start to push the limits of its capabilities as a toy.

THE FOOD / WATER.

Prior to pregnancy we’d eat out occasionally, but in about a three-week span we hit every joint within a 10 mile radius. A heartfelt golf clap to those establishments who kept Katie fed and Rob away from the stove top. Except for you, Panda Express, for providing the meal that pushed Katie over the edge for her one and only eye-level visit to the toilet. 

Familiar tastes were iffy at times (Spaghetti, Asian and Thai food). Cooking smells didn't suit her (Eggs). And even just the sight of uncooked meat or chicken was tough at times too, which led to a few moments like this ....

An old trick I learned in college. Just because the Foreman grill was made for the indoors, that doesn't mean it won't work on the balcony (right, Butters?)

As long as I’ve known Katie a bottle of the water has been her constant companion, so when water became a struggle to chug for a couple months it stressed her out and let the proverbial cat out of the bag before we hoped to do so. Thus, we looked for new options. Vitamin water won out for a few days. Gatorade had its 15 seconds of fame, but primarily it became a battle of juices.

THE SLEEP (OR LACK THEREOF)

I had no idea our trip to Disney World last year was just the tip of the iceberg for what was to come in terms of bathroom trips. Particularly at night.  And when she wasn't getting up to go, she was sitting up to adjust the Pillow Pyramid. Oh the Pillow Pyramid.

If there was one positive for me about this fluffy monstrosity, it was the comfort it provided while I would rub Katie's back and feet. The Utah College of Massage Therapy offered me an honorary doctorate for my efforts over the past few months, but I didn't feel right receiving an award for something that was a simple labor of love :)

THE BABY PREP

Our boy is in good hands with his mom. If it were up to his dad, he would've had to get by with a fraction of the supplies we've collected. (A trash can and liners specifically for dirty diapers? Really?)

See that honkin' dresser (purchased with gift money). It's stocked to the brim with clothes, blankets, toys and other goodies thanks to incredibly generous and loving family and friends just like you. We can't thank you all enough for the showers, support, gifts and well wishes. Don't be surprised if you ever get a gift from us that comes in a familiar looking gift bag. You'd better believe I'm hanging on to those.

THE OUTINGS 

I knew my job for these nine months. Sit. Console. Listen. Obey. Zip the lip.

And I did. But given my out-and-about personality, I still forced her out of the house and into the public domain. 

Days after “The Stick That Changed Our World” we were invited to go here….

and two weeks later we headed back to Provo for the BYU Homecoming Spectacular featuring this fellow…..

A fine idea for a birthday gift when the tickets were purchased, but not the “my husband is the best” moment I was targeting. If there’s any possibility of another pregnancy next year, I’ll skip the tickets and splurge on the DVD.  It should also be noted here that riding in a car is a necessary evil for Katie. Add me as the driver and it gets even more dicey. Add freeway construction and it becomes a nightmare. Add rainy weather and it becomes heart-attack inducing. Add pregnancy and it becomes torture.

Fortunately Katie didn't hold a grudge for too long, as evidenced by her Christmas gift to me ....

Hey Brian Regan, tell me the one about Little League again. 

And we made it to our annual Jazz-Suns game, courtesy of The Rose Shop (call 801-501-ROSE and ask for Lance Larkin), to see our two favorite NBA players ....

Which gives me confidence that in a few months she'll enjoy my Christmas gift to her.

Pregnancy, a nine-month tradition unlike any other.

Thank You Notes

If you don't mind, I have a few thank you notes to catch up on, Jimmy Fallon style.

Thank you, Teri, for getting married and adding Dave to the family. We were looking for a tall guy and a red head to welcome into the fold. And were it not for this blessed event, there would be zero photographic evidence of Katie's third trimester.

Great dinner party

Greater view

Greatest reception dessert

Thank you, Teri, for making us a part of your wedding morning preparations. More importantly, thank you for not including us in your wedding night plans. 

Thank you, Brooklyn, for hanging out with Uncle Rob at the reception. All we need to do now is find something more interesting than Christmas lights to hold your attention.

Thank you, Mickey Mouse, for finding your way into EVERY family gathering. 

Thank you, Tracy, for receiving the same gifts at your joint baby shower with Katie. If something happens to ours, we know where to swipe a replacement.

Homemade blankets. Montana tested, Mom Dawson approved.

Thank you, Sven, for being our guinea pig baby and giving us a parenting practice run. Sorry we couldn't replicate Houston's climate with our lousy humidifier.

This mobile came with flowers. I thought basketballs were a better fit for boys.

Yeah, I feel a little weird when my tie t-shirt matches my nursing pillow cover too.

So you're saying the bouncer is a winner?

When I say I'll keep an eye on a kid, I mean it.

Thank you, Neil, for filling up our email inbox with dozens of random pictures. Who knew downtown St. Louis was visible from an airplane or that the Jefferson Memorial looked better with a side mirror on its left?

Thank you, Hansens, for bringing us out to South Jordan. We love it here.  

One of theses cribs is rented. The other one is paid for. Straight cash, home-y. 

And speaking of moves, thank you, Neil and Deor, for deciding to move to Utah despite your lack of interest in doing so. Katie is losing her "buffer zone"  and we'll miss the trips to St. Louis, but I think it's going to be great having Grandma and Grandpa Jorgy around more often. 

And for those of you who not familiar with Jimmy's Thank You notes ....

Saint Nick? Meet Saint Louis

When I told family and friends we were going to spend a week in St. Louis for the holidays, the common reaction was "What are you going to do out there?"

What were we going to do? What weren't we going to do.

(The reporter in me wishes to make something clear. Katie's parents don't actually live in St. Louis. In fact, they don't even live in Missouri. They're in the city of O'Fallon, Illinois, a short drive across the river from St. Louis. So since no one's heard of O'Fallon, and if you say you live in Illinois everyone thinks you live in Chicago or some suburb of Chicago, they say they're from St. Louis. There. I said it. Go ahead Jorgys. Hate on me.)

Let's start with the big-ticket attractions.

Ted Drewes Frozen Custard. Kind of a big deal, or so my T-shirt says it is. I used to live in a city that touted its fair share of Historic Route 66 stops, but Kingman had nothing this yummy (or cold). I'll bet these taste even better when the temperature outside is higher than the temperature the custard is served at.

True test of a good concrete.

If you want to party like an animal on New Year's Eve, it's best to learn from the pros on New Year's Eve day at the St. Louis Zoo.

Okay, they're not Big Horned Sheep, but it was still fun to watch a little tussle.

Someone said he took the elevator up there. My question is how did he press the button for Level 2?

Ever wonder where your old Christmas tree goes? Now you know.

Yes. Go back. Look again. There is an animal in this picture.

Beware of the Brown Brooklyn. Always looking for a good meal.

We took at trip to Fort Scott Air Force Base for my first commissary shopping experience and a couple games of bowling, where I chocked away a chance to throw the high score and earned the nickname "8th Frame No Game" Weiler.

Can you tell what's wrong with this picture? (Hint: She's mimicking her husband)

Not impressed? Not my problem. If you can't get down with the Midwest madness, I feel sorry for you. But of course, a holiday vacation is not about where you are but who you're with. While my relationship with the Jorgensens has changed since my last visit to St. Louis (from some guy named "Rob" to a sufficiently acceptable son in-law), the goal of the trip stayed the same: keep a low profile.

Piece. of. Fruitcake.

First line of defense: Grand kids. Thank goodness for the little ones. Nonstop entertainment.

Brooklyn's trademark expression. Wonder where she gets it from

Brooklyn has learned to say my name a little too well. I have myself to blame. Guess who lets her drink out of the big kid cups.

Second line of defense: Grand kids waiting in the womb.

Wanna relax at home? No problem. Hang around the preggers. They're not going anywhere for too long.

Third line of defense: Singles

I picked on Heidi last time. Made her think we were all uberinterested and totally infatuated with her dance recital. Sucker.

This time around, Teri was even easier to lead into the spotlight. She had her first endowment session at the temple, followed by a surprise visit and engagement proposal from Dave the next day, followed by wedding dress hunting later that week.

Fourth line of defense: Tradition!!!!!!!

Whether or not my in-laws have their entire family home for the holidays or not, I get the feeling that Neil and Deor aren't ever at a loss for visitors. I forgot to take a picture of the "Welcome to O'Fallon: Home of the Jorgensen Christmas village and flocked trees display room" sign downtown. But trust me, it's a featured stop on the tour bus route, and everyone lines up to see it.

Snow White Way

Disney Drive

Bug's Life Lane

Star Wars Street

Cardinals Circle

Christmas Eve is all about the Christmas story re-enactment which includes "Lo" the angel, who plays a much larger role in their nativity than the one I grew up with. (Wonder why "J-Lo" the angel wasn't chosen to visit the shepherds that night?)

Three wise guys

There's also the ceremonial hanging of the stockings. I always thought stockings were supposed to resemble leg/foot stockings, but I guess they can also resemble stocking caps.

Not only did I get my own stocking, but one of my gifts Christmas morning was my own "monster" (mine's on the left). I asked Katie what the story is behind these creepy, cuddly creatures that my mother in-law sews and didn't get much of an answer, but let's put it this way: if monsters had a Facebook page, I'd totally "like."

Our gift to Mom was a Conagra Foods apron. If you don't know why this is hilarious, you can feel for Michael Scott. (My apologies for the clip. The sound bite doesn't come until the last few seconds)

I learned a couple new games: Quiddler and Kubb. Highly recommend both. Still don't know how I got killed both times playing Quiddler. We also tried our hand at one of the Minute to Win It classics ....

Now not every day was filled with skin-covered oreos, frozen custard, wild animals and 14-pound balls, much to my father in-law's dismay. But an afternoon at home spent largely in front of the television isn't a bad way to use a vacation day either. Especially when you can watch this .....

and play this .....

and sing along to this ....

Thanks Mom and Dad for one more pre-parenthood vacation. Won't be long until our trips to the airport look like this ....

Thoughts?